It's like God shit irony all over that family
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
