and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
