I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
