This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
