butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
