Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
