i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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