Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
