I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize