I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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