Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
