I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
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He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
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soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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