Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
