My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
