then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
