I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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