similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
