She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Randomize
