he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
