dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
