JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize