I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
