I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You are the jesus of drinking
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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