her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize