So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
