I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
