Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
