I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just pynch a tree in the face
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
