I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
