i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
