I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
so much tequila, so little girl.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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