Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize