I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
