She announced her abortion via fbk
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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