I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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