capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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