he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
