it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize