also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize