All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
PANTIES FOUND
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