just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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