this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He has the fingertips of a God
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
