Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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