She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
soo... how was my night?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
