I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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