i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
