Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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