she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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