Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
