Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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