Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize