hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize