And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
