We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
