so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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