he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
