He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
