Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
