so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
