is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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