david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
