I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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